Jun. 29th, 2016

hijabi: photo of hinata looking out forlornly. (hinata sad)
i think about a lot of things a lot. repetitious and true.

every day i start noticing patterns. themes. common strands of thoughts and experiences. this isn't new, per se, but it's happening more frequently. the more i get in touch with my religion, the more introspective and reflective i become during mundane tasks like eating or watching youtube videos about... idk, how to make laksa noodles.

i've had kind of a rough start to life, you could say. not awful enough to turn into a superhero movie antagonist but certainly not so luxurious that i'd make many people jealous. but the instability and prospects of my future in this life make me worry. every. day.

the world around me is so corrupt. it's also expensive. it's dangerous, too, but at the moment i'm living more or less comfortably. however i have a feeling that in a few months it won't be so comfortable. i'll be stepping into "the real world." (never liked that phrase. the world was always real before. i just never had to deal with quite so much ridiculousness all at once.)

i'm talking money. it's no surprise the world's economy is in the gutter. we've been dealing with it for a while. now i'm gonna deal with it too. more directly than ever.

i don't think people want to be rich. i think they want financial stability. after all, so many people get rich and lose it all. so many people with money spend their time working to death just to accumulate wealth. i doubt money actually makes us happy. yes, it can contribute. but clearly it's not the only factor in bringing satisfaction to your life.

anyway idek what i'm trying to say in this journal. i guess i'm trying to mentally prepare myself for the rest of my life. strangely, at the moment i'm oddly calm.

let's see how this goes.

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hijabi: photo of zuko looking away, clearly tired and uncomfortable. (Default)
hijabi / hinata

September 2016

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