[sticky entry] welcome | the internet nomad

May. 31st, 2016 10:23 pm
hijabi: photo of hinata smiling gently. (hinata gentle smile)
wow. i can't remember the last time i was on a website like this, but i know i was young.

hi! i'm hijabi. that's not my real name, and no one actually calls me that, but this is the internet. i'm a young adult (not the YA ficiton kind) and my tastes are too eclectic to even begin. i will tell you that i love animals, nature, and delicious food!

i'm not sure how active i'll be here. i tend to hop from site to site. part of my childhood and most of my adolescence was actually online (sad, i know) but i often lived in places where it was hard to genuinely connect with other people.

i'm not really looking for close friends. my leaky memory may drip drop the fact i even signed up for this site today, but i do want to interact and generally share my life with people.

now it's time to explore. seeya 'round!
hijabi: photo of zuko looking away, clearly tired and uncomfortable. (Default)
i finally got rid of my vent.

that place was fun at first. the more time you spend on communities like that, however, the more you see it's ugly underbelly. i'm glad i left. it was reminding me of too many uncomfortable memories and fears.

from now on i'm gonna post most of my entries to the access list only. may move a few old entries there too. expect less public entries!

finally

Aug. 25th, 2016 06:07 pm
hijabi: photo of zuko looking up at the sky in humbled awe. (zuko looking up)
found the website host that works best for me AND it doesn't cost money to hook up a third party domain name. yeehaw! thanks, squarespace. only thing is in less than 14 days my free trial ends. wah. but all is not lost, for i have a sponsor.

i found some cool things these past few days. like most of the cool things i discover these days, they're all youtube channels.
  • The Dom
  • Nerdwriter1
  • Wisecrack
wisecrack isn't actually new to me. i've enjoyed their earthling cinema series and all the eyebrows that entails for a while now. what interests me at the moment are their "the philosophy of" videos. nerdwriter does these stunningly evocative, thought-provoking video essays and the dom discusses relevant books and movies. i adore the lost in adaptation (adaption?) series. could do without the cross dressing.

i'm neglecting my writing habits in favor of reading and i seriously need to find a way to balance the two. i'll probably have to break out timers. at least half an hour of writing a day to start should be good. i can get a lot done in half an hour at this keyboard.

well, that's pretty much it. until next time!
hijabi: photo of hinata smiling gently. (hinata gentle smile)
after a while you notice a trend with your favorite characters. generally speaking, we like protagonists that face challenges. they don't even have to succeed, we just wanna see them make a real effort. and it won't feel like it counts if there's nothing actually at stake. we expect the main characters to make it through, yeah, but there has to be an actual threat. there have to be constraints. something has to stand in the way.

somehow even shounen manga and anime manage to pull this off, even with their ridiculous power ups and implausible physical abilities. (then again we gotta suspend disbelief any time we're watching animation or looking at illustrations.)

there are other factors that go into making solid characters. they need to be convincing. they should have backgrounds, opinions, motivations. characters drive the story forward. at least, they're supposed to. figuring out how exactly they're going to do that is half the fun of writing.

personally, i like characters that...
  • struggle with insecurities and/or mental illness
  • go the famous "bad guy turned good" route
  • change their perception on the world or the people who live in it for the better
  • despite their own shortcomings do their best to pull up those surrounding them, friend/foe/stranger
  • are big sweethearts
characters should have flaws that balance out their strengths. their human after all. if they don't they probably fall into some mary sue/wish fulfillment category and the former is particularly alienating to fans. to rule out wish fulfillment altogether strikes me as silly. after all, there are many elements of escapism in all types of stories, acted or animated. a little indulgence is fine, it just has to make sense and not go overboard.

character creation is pretty fun. i've had lots of projects that hardly get past the character and world building stages because of how fun it is. anyway, i've got stuff to be doing. seeya!
hijabi: photo of zuko looking away, clearly tired and uncomfortable. (Default)
i can see why shounen anime has such an appeal. the themes of adventure, strong friendship, and overcoming trials resonate with pretty much everyone on the planet. there was a time where all i ever wanted to watch was shounen. though i have my gripes with certain tropes and characteristics of the genre (like with any genre) one anime keeps sucking me in over these past few days.

it's hunter x hunter. the 2011 reboot.

at the moment i'm almost done watching the arc with the hunter exam. this show doesn't play around with plot or characterization. it's so refreshing--i think there's only been one filler episode so far. so many moments take me back to the time when i got sucked into the chuunin exams when naruto began airing in the US. i was hooked.

i'm not a fan of violence, cartoon or otherwise. i think revenge is dumb, useless, and a waste of time. but watching naruto was a surreal experience for me as a kid because so many of these characters with their crazy designs had just as ridiculous backstories. but they were relatable. it taught me that people suffer. that everyone suffers, and people rely on vastly different coping mechanisms to deal with their past... whether that's burying your memories, living in denial, isolating yourself, or resorting to violence, trying to recover from trauma, or whatever myriad of techniques one might attempt.

so if i don't like violence then why do i watch these shows fraught with fighting and animated murder? well, there are a few reasons. it certainly isn't for entertainment. gore and blood gross me out. the violence, for me, is nevertheless mostly ignorable. it's fake and the audience knows that. no one in reality is summoning giant frogs and snakes and slugs and using them to fight one another. (i hope so, anyway. keep your oversized animals in the wild, please.) i mostly enjoy seeing people get out of sticky situations. i might learn a thing or two along the way about psychology or other common escape tactics. it's surprisingly enriching. while the excessive explanation sometimes breaks immersion for older audiences as a kid i appreciated the time taken to analyze the situation because half the time i was too young to synthesize that on my own.

hunter x hunter is reminding me of that time. no, not because there was also an exam with overpowered children in a tournament-style event involved. it's moreso the storytelling, character development, and seat-gripping plot twists that get me excited. these are the kinda shows i cherish forever. it's also the reason i'm actually considering reading the naruto manga from start to finish.

i saw the original anime (minus some filler) plus some shippuuden before i got bored and decided to wait until the series finishes, like many other naruto fans who weren't following the manga. i've been spoiled for the end of the manga and other major plot points as the series was slowly wrapping up but there's still so much i don't know. that's the thing about shows you watch when you're young--you get really invested. it's like seeing old friends. you wanna know how they're doing, even if it's too late to see them progress in real time. i also started reading boruto (i know, bad practice) but it honestly made me suck on my pride and decide okay, i intend do it. i'm gonna try to actually read the whole manga series in one go. (more or less)

72 volumes. that's a lot of manga. and a lot of money. but i think it's worth it. masashi kishimoto's art and story make me feel. it forces me look into myself. it silently encourages me to find the same strength the characters do to triumph over the seemingly impossible.

more than anything, it makes me happy. it fills me with hope. and those are the kinds of stories i really wanna write.
hijabi: photo of hinata with looking up in slight surprise. (hinata looking up)
so i recently discovered a few things.
  • official english translations of light novels exist... and in kindle format, to boot!
  • weekly shounen jump only costs 99¢ in the kindle store
  • digital manga is really cheap on the kindle store (i've seen volumes go for $4.49)
  • you can read whatever manga you buy in the kindle store on comixology
for some reason comixology tends to be a lot more expensive than the kindle store, which is strange because i thought amazon owned comixology...? anyway, at least i didn't get ripped off. i love reading comics. manga used to bother me because the small print on those tiny pages seemed to teased me in their microscopic sclae. with the digital comics i get a crisp, clean picture that i can enlarge to whatever size i want! haha! take that, paper!

it surprises me to see so many manga i'd wanted to read years ago on comixology--stuff i thought no one remembered or knew about. that's good for me! now i get to float in that lovely cloud of sweet, sweet nostalgia in something old yet new.

tbh i was typing this in a separate tab and i completely forgot what i was gonna type about because i kept switching between them so here, you get an abrupt ending. wait, i just remembered. i don't feel like writing about it in this entry, though. welp. abrupt ending redaction, redacted.
hijabi: photo of zuko resting his head on his chin in boredom. (zuko bored)
ever go on a video watching spree that entertains, enlightens, and elucidates so succinctly that you're bursting with inspiration and articulation?

i just did. i'm talking about the youtube channels Now You See It, Digibro, and Mother's Basement. mostly the last two.

storytelling fascinates me, whether in film, literature, or animated series. sometimes i just open up tvtropes and go to town learning the terms and archetypes that define my favorite genres. i also take an unreasonable amount of pleasure in opening a bunch of tabs in google chrome. sue me.

the channels i mention mainly focus on film or anime. they're audio/visual mediums with lots in common and capable of imparting genuinely beneficial experiments.

so now for the inevitable list of things in anime that bother me!
  • fanservice and sexualization of minors
  • excessive explanation
  • drawn-out and insultingly obvious exposition
  • excessive jargon
i'd like to go more in depth but fatigue is telling me to not finish this sentence and post this entry already so i can sleep
hijabi: photo of zuko in a battle stance. (zuko battle ready)
yes! pumped up zuko icon because today i just found out there's actually a farmer's market or two nearby! i've been to one (perhaps more) before and it was so nice to see "home-grown" foods. they're only open on certain days however which is fine by me honestly. forces you to plan ahead.

i wonder if they'd sell me any seeds if i asked? buying certain foods you kind of get seeds for free, but i was just wondering.

speaking of gardening there's also a community garden across the street. i wonder how much a permit costs? i think i'll stick to indoor gardening before i go out and try to reserve a plot just like that.
hijabi: photo of hinata looking confused and worried. (hinata worried)
apologies for the lack of updates. i've been in a slump lately honestly.

so little has been going on lately, in my personal life, so i've started researching random topics of interest or things i've heard about as i usually do when bored. to be quite honest, i knew corruption was widespread and invasive but had no idea to what almost unavoidable extent. it's made me re-evaluate my entire life, behaviors, and beliefs (about this country and the world at large, not in the spiritual sense).

it's no secret we're being screwed over in every facet of our lives by huge corporations and the US government. it's no secret these huge corporations owned by greedy elites are using their affluence to exercise a terrifying amount of control over the policies and laws that are meant to protect us.

frankly, we're all sick of it. and after a few existential crises and time spent looking inward i've decided i want little to nothing to do with it. i'm not sure when or exactly how but i plan on making some changes to my life so that i'm less dependent on these abuse-prone scammers. the first step is education. it's vital to prevent getting stuck in the rat race and other common pitfalls. i'm so glad i've been blessed with the opportunity and tools to learn, grow, and prosper. rights big business owners seem to believe only belong to them. but anyway.

people make jokes about dystopian societies and thank God they're not living in a hunger games-esque environment. while we may not have the over-the-top symbolism or government endorsed death games of classic and modern novels alike, there are definitely remorseless figures pulling strings to fulfill their own selfish desires via genocide, war, and large scale oppression.

and america is no exception.

i'm not suggesting we revolt or secede or whatever. i'm talking about less extreme measures. i'm concerned about my health, family, future, and future family. i want to live healthier, stronger, smarter. i want to help people. and i certainly don't want to do that while slowly killing and diseasing myself with processed foods, questionable medical "treatment," and other nonsense that's been shoved down our throats that require us to work work work until we die to line the pockets of corporations that don't give two rats toenails.

alright, time for me to do some more studying. i recommend you do your own as well. this entry merely tiptoes around the factors driving this not-so-sudden change.

pray for me. peace.
hijabi: photo of zuko looking away, clearly tired and uncomfortable. (zuko grumbly)
if the spoilers i'm seeing on tumblr for harry potter and the cursed child are accurate (and many of them line up with each other) then i'm glad i decided NOT to preorder the book (screenplay?) because... yeah. just. wow lol.
hijabi: photo of zuko looking up at the sky in humbled awe. (zuko looking up)
my expectations weren't that high, but man. i'm still a bit disappointed.

while the game was certainly fun the first few days and the slew of unavoidable bugs and server errors are understandable, this game definitely feels rushed. nintendo probably felt pressured to release the game to coincide with the summer holiday. nevertheless no piece of media is free of constructive criticism or input from consumers.

pokemon go, as it is, feels unbalanced. just look at this reddit thread. it points out pretty much all of my problems with the game so far. living in a suburban area next to a park isn't as bad as living in a rural area, but it discourages me from playing the game amid the slew of errors and bugs.

people are already quitting because of the unrewarding nature of the game. if the developers don't work on this soon... nintendo could lose significant profits.

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hijabi: photo of zuko looking away, clearly tired and uncomfortable. (Default)
hijabi / hinata

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